The Chap's Feb/Mar 2012 edition canoodles with love and the ladies:

- Cover story: why our very own blonde bombshell Diana Dors never became Britain's Marylin Monroe
- Interview: Monty Python lady Carol Cleveland spills the beans on the Python version of trashing hotel rooms and the banned episode of the Avengers
- Blades of Honour: the history of duelling and its application to modern complaints
- Gambling: our new Turf correspondent on the Cheltenham Festival and legendary tipster Prince Monolulu
- Love Letters - a short history and how to write them
- Nathaniel Adams redresses the sartorial style of political agitators
- Cricket: new sports writer Steve Pittard looks at declining sartorial standards in the game
- Biography: the life and times of Sylvia Brooke, last Ranee of Sarawak
- Argentine Steps: the complex socio-sartorial history of the Tango
- Grooming - our expert in the bathroom on pre-shave unguents and lotions
- Michael "Atters" Attree on the lover's moustache
- Drinking: Neil J. Ridley on the mythology of love potions
- Brief Encounters: Fleur de Guerre launches her new lonely chaps column
- Lapse of Panache: George Mallory vs Conrad Anker
- Tristan Langlois re-enacts the Battle of Balaclava at a wedding breakfast
- Mr. Bell the Butler dishes out sound advice on sock suspenders, ski wear and Fair Isle sweaters
- The Chap Questionnaire: wine connoiseur "Jolly" Olly Smith
- Plus: Am I Chap?, Chap of the Month and the Personal Footman Duo-horned Orchestraphone (patent pending)